Dear Diary: Urgh
Urgh. Urgh, Urgh, Urgh.
I think that accurately sums up my last couple of weeks.
If you follow me on Twitter you may have noticed that I’ve tweeted a couple of times about work which means that I got the job I interviewed for a couple of weeks ago (a bar tender job at a local pub/bar). That was great, I was happy as I was going to have something else to do and a little bit of money. But life isn’t that straightforward is it?
I’m currently writing this at 1 O’clock in the afternoon and I’m still in bed as I’m trying to get over a cold that just will not shift and after having only just woken up after catching up on some of the sleep that I’ve missed just lately. I knew the hours were going to be bad but not this bad.
I’m working full time and, for the next two weeks at least, I’m closing up after a shift- on my own sometimes despite being new-, which means late nights and no time for myself. They also make you do horrendously long split shifts which means you end up working 18 hour days, which just isn’t sustainable, and the hours are so irregular that I never know when I’m working one week to the next. On top of that I can’t afford to keep putting petrol in my car and paying for parking when I haven’t even been paid yet.
I know most of it is my fault as I don’t like not having any time to myself- especially when I have to put a job that I hate before doing the things I love (like writing for this blog). I know that part of life with a job is that your life has to revolve around your work, but I also know that there are better options out there. I know that there are jobs relating to my degree that I’d enjoy- and ones where I wasn’t walking down dark alleyways at 4:30 in the morning to get back to my car. I know there are jobs out there that allow me to work on my passions outside of work, and ones that give more regular hours so I can actually plan to do other things.
I know that this is the ultimate definition of whiny first world problems- and I know that there are far more important things going on in the world right now (believe me, I’m very angry and hurt by those too!)- but it’s really getting to me. I’ve been yelled at and sworn at by customers and the bouncer (who was standing right next to him at the time) did nothing. I’ve been hit on numerous times by drunk old men and I just don’t know what to do in those situations. I dread going in for every shift, and I’ve cried more times that I can remember since I started this job. I’ve only ever had one other job that made me cry but I swore to myself that the next time a job I had made me cry that would be the time to quit.
It’s not all doom and gloom in my life at the moment though; we have the comedy festival coming up in Leicester next month and I have a few shifts available at my old job (at a comedy club) if I want them. And boy do I want them, because I know and love the people, and the job’s quite fun.
I also went to see Russell Howard the other night. He was doing a preview for his upcoming tour and my dad got given free tickets for some charity work he did and gave them to me. I’m planning on writing a review for it so I won’t say much here but, if you love Russell on Good News or anything else you’ve seen him on, go and see him on tour. Usually when you like comedians on the TV you don’t like them doing stand up, right? Well Russell Howard is just as good doing stand up. He was hilarious but also spoke about the important issues in a non-lecturing, non- this is so awkward because I came to hear jokes kind of way.
He did not disappoint!
So anyway, there wasn’t really much point to this post except to get my thoughts out there and to give you all a well overdue catch-up. I suppose I also wanted to let you know why regular posts have stopped recently because I just haven’t had time- if I’m not working I’m sleeping.
I definitely do still feel like I’m getting my life back on track because if this job has done one thing for me it’s given me my confidence back. I’m also feeling optimistic that I won’t be out of work long if I do decide to give it up. I just need to do a lot of thinking- and fast.
Thanks for reading this absolute shambles of a rambling post if you’re still here!
What’s been going on in your life lately? Also, what would you do in my situation? Let me know in the comments!
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