Everything I’m Leaving Behind In 2018 (and a few 2019 goals)
Worrying about unimportant stuff to the point where it’s having a detrimental effect on your life is so last year! Here’s all the stuff I’m going to try to leave behind as we enter into the new year:
Worrying about what people think of me
I’m sick of not doing things because I’m worried that people will judge me or think I’m weird/stupid. I’m bored of routine and not being adventurous because my constant over-thinking holds me back. Next year I vow to stop letting these fears rule my life. Most people do not care what I’m doing, what hobbies I have or where I’m going so what’s the point in worrying?
Stressing over money
This year has been hell money-wise. I lost/quit my job in February and it’s taken pretty much all year to get back on my feet. Even when I have a bit of money and financial stability I won’t spend it on ‘non-essentials’ because I can’t justify it. Cheap flights? Not a necessity. Nice new pair of boots? Can’t afford it. I’m constantly thinking what if I spend it on this and I end up in debt or losing my job in a month or so, I’ll need that money then. But I’ve realised I have to get out of this mindset. Money can always be remade and, as long as I’m not being stupid about it, I can afford to spend extra on things that will make me happy. I guarantee I won’t regret it when I’m 70.
Ignoring invitations in favour of sitting on my arse all night watching Netflix
This one comes down to my anxiety around forming close relationships with new people, but also the fact that I’m tired all the bloody time. I’ve been invited out for work drinks that weren’t starting until 10pm and swiftly turned that down. I didn’t go on my works’ Christmas do because I was too anxious (and poor). 2019 is going to be the year of yes.
Having nothing going on outside of work or uni
This is related to the one above and the money worries. I worry about being judged for the things I want to do (not that there’s anything unusual about them, I’m just a worrier) and then when I do find a course or class I want to take, country I want to visit, or event I want to attend I feel like I can’t justify the money spent on it. It’s a vicious cycle and one I hope to break in 2019.
I have been a procrastinator all my life and, while I have gotten a little bit better recently, I still leave things until the last minute. I don’t know why I do it; I even do it with things I really want to do. Now I have two jobs and a masters to study for my spare time is precious and I need to organise a lot more which means procrastination has got to be kept to a minimum (although I am writing this instead of writing up a research project which has to be submitted in less than three weeks…)
If I’m leaving stuff behind in 2018, that makes room for doing new things in 2019. Here are a few things I want to do and achieve this year.
- Travel more: Most people who have written posts like this, either on their blogs or Instagram, have said they want to travel more. Life is too short to stay in one place, especially when there’s a big wide world waiting to be explored. So far I have a flight to Poland booked and a Turkish adventure in the pipeline.
- Get a hobby: Like I mentioned above I want to fill my spare time with something that isn’t more work. I want to be good at something and do something that I have to talk about with new people, and I want to take classes in it so I’m surrounded by people with similar interests. I also want something to occupy my mind that doesn’t involve the criminal justice system or homeless issues because that can take it’s toll really quickly.
- Start swimming: I’ve been saying this for months (my housemate is sick of hearing me say it) and I will finally start swimming when I have a spare hour. Even just once a week will be good, and, if nothing else, it’ll help me become a little bit fitter.
- Go completely vegan: I’m around 99% vegan and 100% vegetarian (I don’t think I could ever eat meat again) but I just can’t get over that last little hurdle. Sometimes I really want a bit of Cadbury chocolate or halloumi for dinner and if I don’t allow it I resent myself and I end up feeling quite down. I’m just hoping I can start craving vegan chocolate when I’m having a difficult time instead.
- Keep a journal: keeping a reflective diary for one of my university modules has really been helping me this year . I usually have a lot going on in my head and struggle to sort it all out so writing it down on paper will help me do so. And, not to sound like a complete knobhead but, it’ll help me get more in touch with my ~feelings~ which is something I really need to learn how to do!
What is one thing you’re leaving in 2018? What goals do you have for 2019? Let me know in the comments!