My life is in limbo. I’ve just completed a degree which I’ve put my absolute all into and now it’s all over. It’s a strange place to be in, not knowing where you’ll be this time next month, next year, or in ten years’ time. Up until this point my life has been sort of mapped out for me- school- college- university- but now that’s over I’m left pondering, now what?
I have a few weeks until graduation (and I will graduate because I’ve done way too much stress crying over these last three years to not), and in these few weeks it’s sort of acceptable to have nothing major to do and to just take some time out to relax (I suppose I could be thinking about getting me one of those job things but, right now, a 9-to-5 is my idea of hell!). The only problem with this is, by having no plans for my future, the foreseeable looks like an empty black hole of nothing- and it stretches out for miles ahead of me.
After my last exam was over I sort of had a little panic about this, but now I’ve had chance to calm down and reflect I’ve started to realise that it’s not all bad; having no plans means this black hole can also be pictured as a blank canvas. Right now I have an abundance of freedom, minimal responsibilities, and a great desire to get as much out of life as possible. When I put it like that, being in limbo isn’t all that scary. It’s actually quite exciting.
In the next few weeks/months/years I can do whatever my heart desires. I can travel the world, swim in any ocean I choose, make friends from across the globe, sleep under stars, write stories on sandy beaches, book spontaneous flights, and stay up all night to watch the sun set in a foreign country. I can stay home and try out different career paths, walk my dog by the lakes, volunteer, spend time with loved ones, and spend all day baking if I choose.
I’ve always been a girl who needs to know where I’m headed and what’s going to happen to me next, but now I’m realising that uncertain doesn’t have to mean scary. There’s a world of opportunity out there and I plan on exploring every little bit of it!