Stumbling through life, one day at a time

New Beginnings

And suddenly you just know: it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of new beginnings. – Meister Eckhart

new beginnings

There was an autumnal chill in the air this morning. I woke up to a fresh breeze permeating through the room and pulled the duvet up a little higher so that I could revel in this feeling for a short while longer until the dulcet tones of my alarm clock broke the spell.

You see, as much as I love summer and the cold, darkness of winter makes me miserable, I’m always secretly happy when the crisp chill of September rolls around. Summer is wonderful and, every year, I wish I could bask in its glorious sunshine for eternity. But I think summer also comes with a lot of pressure: pressure to have endless fun, pressure to have a good time, pressure to have the ‘summer of a lifetime’. So much so that when all of that inevitably doesn’t happen you can feel a bit like a failure.

You feel like the season has been wasted and, now it’s over, you feel like you’ve got nothing to show for it when you’ve actually been getting on with life. As much as we believe they should your lifestyle and routines shouldn’t be expected to drastically change just because the sun is a little fiercer and is out for a little longer each day.

September is different though. September is the time for new beginnings and for making changes. I don’t know about you but the morning chill and the dew soaking the grass fills me with positivity and a need to get organised. The shock of waking up to the cold pushes the summertime fuzziness out of my head and makes me want to grasp life by the horns – and it makes me believe that I can do whatever I put my mind to.

My new beginnings:

So, what changes am I making this September?

new beginnings 2

  • New Job – In these last few months I’ve applied to terrible jobs which I knew I would hate as much as my old one, I’ve tried freelancing but didn’t put enough effort into it and I got offered two bar jobs and turned them both down because, in my desperation, I forgot how much I hated bar work (and how female bar tenders are treated like utter shit by many customers). It was so, so hard at times but I knew that if I gave in and took any old job I would be stuck in it for a long time just because of the kind of person I am. I’m glad I stuck to my guns as it’s obviously paid off as I finally have a new job which will be giving me much needed experience for my future career. I won’t be talking about my job here or on social media as I have a strict social media policy to adhere to but it deserved a mention here.
  • University – As soon as I started studying for my undergraduate degree I knew my next step was to get a Masters in forensic psychology. Now it’s time to take that next step! The course I have a place on is quite hands-on and research based which is difficult to get in the field of psychology because of patient confidentiality and things like that, so I’m very excited. I’m not wild about having to revise and take exams again but I know it’ll be worth it in the end.
  • Blog changes – I know back in January I said that I wanted to change up my blog content and give more opinions. Well, it turns out that, while I have more opinions than ever, none have inspired me enough to want to write blog posts about. Instead I’m enjoying being more vocal about politics, veganism/animal rights, LGBT+ life and feminism on Twitter as I feel like it’s the best platform to do this on. As for my blog I want to become more of a storyteller. I love writing but I hate having to worry about whether what I’m writing is helpful or shareable so I end up resenting writing and leaving my blog stagnating. I adore sitting down to just write about life or whatever happens to be in my head without following a plan or trying to work around keywords. I know this might be counter-productive in terms on monetising my blog but it always has been (and always will be) my hobby alongside my full-time job.
  • New lease of life – I’m trying to make 2018 the year of embracing me and loving myself. I’ve struggled for so long after being constantly told I’m not good enough or being shown that I’m not worthy of love but I want all of that to change. I’ve already celebrated Pride, found new friends, realised what I want from life and made steps to getting it. I want to carry this on for the remainder of the year. I want to learn to love myself and open up to people. I want to change my mindset to realise that if people don’t want me in their lives then that’s their problem not mine.

Does anyone else get this feeling when the end of summer rolls around? What changes are you making this September? Let me know in the comments!

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