So, you’ve been hearing a lot about this little game called Pokemon Go for a while now, but you’ve didn’t jump on the bandwagon at the same time as about 98% of the world (that statistic is entirely made up but it seems pretty believable). Maybe you really wanted to download it but thought you didn’t have the time. Maybe you thought it was stupid and only for children (I’m not judging you but you’re wrong). Maybe you’ve just never been that interested in all things Pokemon (slightly judging you). Now, though, you’ve decided that you can’t bear listening to everyone around you talking about it whilst you’re sitting there clueless, so you’ve downloaded it. It doesn’t matter that you’re a little later to the party than everyone else because better late than never, right?
Here are some things you might have experienced as a late-comer to the game that’s currently taking the world by storm:
- You have absolutely no idea what people are talking about and start pretending that you do anyway. Yeah, so, how about those Pokestops huh? *quickly Googles what an earth a Pokestop is*
- You can finally start saying yes when people ask you if you’re playing. Hurrah.
- But then they start asking questions about how many gyms you’ve won and if you have an Eevee yet so you either have to lie and fake some achievements or shamefully admit that you’re not even close to being able to battle in a gym.
- The question “What team are you on?” means absolutely nothing to you.
- But when you finally get to the part where you can choose a team you’ve heard so many different things about each team that the decision gives you heart palpitations. So-and-so says they’re on team Valor, but thingy said that the blue team is the best. Ahh this is so stressful.
- You decide that it’s best to just not pick a team right now because you’re scared of commitment at the best of times and you just don’t need the added stress right now.
- When you see Pokemon like Squirtle or Eevee just chillin’ on the street you get stupidly excited because zomg this is like my childhood but better, but nobody wants to listen to your excited squealing because they’re already over it this feeling.
- You still think Pidgeys are cute and don’t understand the hate for them (you’ll learn).
- Once you do start to understand why Pidgeys are so universally disliked you walk away from so many of them (and Rattatas for that matter), because you’ve already caught a load and you haven’t yet realised that you’re walking away from XP and precious, precious stardust.
- Talking of walking away from Pokemon, you pick a Squirtle as your starter but the next day someone tells you about the ‘Pikachu hack’. When you tell them you didn’t know about they just tell you that everyone knows about that now! Erm, obviously not. I’m new to this, stop being judgy.
- You’re proud when you get to level 5 until somebody tells you they’re on level 25 and have a whole list of achievements already. But then you remember that they’ve been playing longer than you and you’d totally be doing better than them if you’d downloaded it at the same time.
- With this new found confidence you decided to dedicate your whole life for the foreseeable future to becoming the best Pokemon Master there is- until you remember that you have a job that you need to go to because you’ll have no money otherwise. *Sigh* life sucks sometimes.
- Also, who am I kidding? I still don’t know what I’m doing.
- You start using any excuse to go on a long walk to hunt down some Pokemon. Does the dog want to go for a walk? She’s been on 12 already today but I definitely think she needs to go on another one right now.
- You become addicted and start to wish you’d downloaded it sooner. Also, if you originally thought it was stupid/ for children you should be eating some humble pie sometime around now.
Now, go catch ’em all (but not before sharing this post of course).